Response
Response #
80
Person who died
Partner
Category
Current experience of grief
Respondent details
55-64 | Female | British
Q1: What was the nature of your relationship with the person who died?
Partner and soul mate
Q2: How has the person’s death affected you during the hours, days, and weeks that followed?
Every second of every day I have to push myself against what I call the wall of grief and misery just to get through the day. I am still having counselling and have a feeling of nausea every day despite putting an act on at work whilst feeling so, so sad and unhappy.
Q3: How, if at all, have your relationships with other people (particular individuals and other people in general) been affected by the bereavement?
Very much so. I don’t feel like the same person and have avoided some friends I had in favour of friends I have made who are going through the same experience of grief.
Q4: Does the surrounding world seem any different to you while grieving? If so, how?
Yes it all seems surreal and doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.
Q5: Has your experience of time changed in any way?
No
Q6: Has your body felt any different during grief?
Yes. I have lost over a stone and a half and experience aches and pains and a fatigue I never had before.
Q7: Has grief interfered in any way with your ability and motivation to perform various tasks, including paid work?
Yes definitely.
Q8: Is your experience of grief changing over time? If so, how?
No not at all but I am learning to act better and hide my emotions whilst living alongside my grief.
Q9: Have you ever found yourself looking for the person who died or expecting that person to appear?
Yes sometimes I catch myself doing that.
Q10: Are there times, places, and occasions that have made you especially aware of the person’s absence?
All the time.
Q11: People who are grieving often report experiencing the presence of the person who died. Have you had any experiences that you would describe in those terms?
No
Q12: Do you still feel a sense of connection with the person? If so, could you say something about when you feel this and what the experience is like?
Yes I talk to him all the time particularly to his photographs.
Q13: Since the person died, is there anything that you have been doing in order to feel close to them?
No
Q14: Is there anything that you do in order to avoid being reminded of the person or of their death?
No
Q15: Has anything in particular helped you to cope with grief? Has anything made you feel better or worse?
Family and friends and my counsellor
Q16: How understanding have other people been? Have others said or done anything that you've found especially helpful or unhelpful?
Some who have or are experiencing grief have been very understanding, others less so and quite thoughtless.
Q17: How, if at all, has your experience of bereavement changed you as a person?
I am more reflective and realise we have to live for today and don’t make plans.
Q18: How, if at all, does grief over the death of a person differ from other forms of loss that you have experienced?
Immensely
Q19: Are there any aspects of grief that you find particularly puzzling or difficult to put into words?
A sense of loss that is so overwhelming there are no words to describe it and also the puzzle of where he actually is other than ashes in an urn which is unbearably difficult to comprehend.
Q20: Are there any important aspects of your experience that we have not addressed?
No