Response
Response #
167
Person who died
Father
Category
Current experience of grief
Respondent details
45-54 | Female | British
Q1: What was the nature of your relationship with the person who died?
My father
Q2: How has the person’s death affected you during the hours, days, and weeks that followed?
A great deal. He meant a lot to me, he was a wise sage and good counsel as well as my Dad. I miss him every single day.
Q3: How, if at all, have your relationships with other people (particular individuals and other people in general) been affected by the bereavement?
We have become a much closer little family. I have no brothers or sisters and neither does my Mum. My husband is a rock to me and my Mum and so are our close family and friends.
Q4: Does the surrounding world seem any different to you while grieving? If so, how?
Yes, it seems surreal. Like I am going to walk into my old childhood home and he will be sat in his chair.
Q5: Has your experience of time changed in any way?
Yes, to live life now and stop procrastinating.
Q6: Has your body felt any different during grief?
Drained.
Q7: Has grief interfered in any way with your ability and motivation to perform various tasks, including paid work?
Yes sometimes.
Q8: Is your experience of grief changing over time? If so, how?
Yes, it is changing. I miss him but I know he would be annoyed and would be saying just get on with life. I also know that nothing will ever bring him back and I have to live my life to the full.
Q9: Have you ever found yourself looking for the person who died or expecting that person to appear?
Yes.
Q10: Are there times, places, and occasions that have made you especially aware of the person’s absence?
Yes.
Q11: People who are grieving often report experiencing the presence of the person who died. Have you had any experiences that you would describe in those terms?
No.
Q12: Do you still feel a sense of connection with the person? If so, could you say something about when you feel this and what the experience is like?
No.
Q13: Since the person died, is there anything that you have been doing in order to feel close to them?
No.
Q14: Is there anything that you do in order to avoid being reminded of the person or of their death?
No.
Q15: Has anything in particular helped you to cope with grief? Has anything made you feel better or worse?
Q16: How understanding have other people been? Have others said or done anything that you've found especially helpful or unhelpful?
I think those who have lost a parent understand what it feels like. It is like being the member of a club you actually don't want to be a member of.
Q17: How, if at all, has your experience of bereavement changed you as a person?
A lot. It made me realise that we aren't here forever. I thought Dad would be around for years and years but that wasn't the case.
Q18: How, if at all, does grief over the death of a person differ from other forms of loss that you have experienced?
I think it depends who has died. I have lost grandparents and apart from my closest grandfather (Pampa), losing my Dad was something else.
Q19: Are there any aspects of grief that you find particularly puzzling or difficult to put into words?
Why does it take so long for the actual grief to pass. I think that at the beginning, if like me you are up to your neck in legal and financial things to sort out, you don't actually start the proper grieving until the final bits of paperwork are all put away.
Q20: Are there any important aspects of your experience that we have not addressed?
No