Response

Response #

163

Person who died

Partner

Category

Current experience of grief

Respondent details

25-34 | Female | British

Q1: What was the nature of your relationship with the person who died?

My best friend, romantic partner, important figure in my child's life

Q2: How has the person’s death affected you during the hours, days, and weeks that followed?

Initially unable to cope or to do anything. Very short tempered with child, fell into a pit of despair and not doing anything. Now more able to function but still have no long term aspirations or expectations of happiness

Q3: How, if at all, have your relationships with other people (particular individuals and other people in general) been affected by the bereavement?

I feel like I have shut off from other people. I feel disconnected and alone

Q4: Does the surrounding world seem any different to you while grieving? If so, how?

More futile, especially for things I can't control

Q5: Has your experience of time changed in any way?

I find that time passes extremely slowly, or sometimes goes by fast. I spend what seems like hours staring into space then find it was only a short time

Q6: Has your body felt any different during grief?

everything hurts

Q7: Has grief interfered in any way with your ability and motivation to perform various tasks, including paid work?

Yes. I was signed off for five weeks as I was unable to function. My house is a mess and I find it hard to start or complete any task

Q8: Is your experience of grief changing over time? If so, how?

It is less acute than it was, but at the same time it is a bigger heavier weight of knowing it won't change and I can never undo this.

Q9: Have you ever found yourself looking for the person who died or expecting that person to appear?

no, but I have found myself wanting them to appear in places where I normally saw them

Q10: Are there times, places, and occasions that have made you especially aware of the person’s absence?

Yes. Every time my child does something new, every time I visit certain places, when I read things I want to share with them, when I feel sad and when I feel happy, and when I do something I am proud of. I dream of them every night

Q11: People who are grieving often report experiencing the presence of the person who died. Have you had any experiences that you would describe in those terms?

I have had dreams where I dreamt I felt their presence. But nothing awake.

Q12: Do you still feel a sense of connection with the person? If so, could you say something about when you feel this and what the experience is like?

Q13: Since the person died, is there anything that you have been doing in order to feel close to them?

making things I think they would have liked, reading books they recommended, watching things they recommended

Q14: Is there anything that you do in order to avoid being reminded of the person or of their death?

Q15: Has anything in particular helped you to cope with grief? Has anything made you feel better or worse?

talking to others

Q16: How understanding have other people been? Have others said or done anything that you've found especially helpful or unhelpful?

generally quite understanding

Q17: How, if at all, has your experience of bereavement changed you as a person?

I feel like part of me is gone and will never return.

Q18: How, if at all, does grief over the death of a person differ from other forms of loss that you have experienced?

The joy is gone from the world

Q19: Are there any aspects of grief that you find particularly puzzling or difficult to put into words?

exhaustion, lack of ability to think

Q20: Are there any important aspects of your experience that we have not addressed?