Response

Response #
206
Category
Current experience of grief
Respondent details
35-44 | Female | USA
Q1: What was the nature of your relationship with the person who died?
My Father. Also several miscarriages.
Q2: How has the person’s death affected you during the hours, days, and weeks that followed?
I cannot have children. I’m daily saddened by this. I miss my father and now must make stressful decisions regarding my mother's care as she is wheelchair bound and older.
Q3: How, if at all, have your relationships with other people (particular individuals and other people in general) been affected by the bereavement?
I have isolated myself to the point where I have no friends, and even relatives don’t want to talk to me because it seems to be all I can talk about.
Q4: Does the surrounding world seem any different to you while grieving? If so, how?
Everything seems cold and harsh.
Q5: Has your experience of time changed in any way?
At times, things seem to move quicker like I can’t keep up. Other times, it’s dragging and I wish time would move forward to where I start to forget.
Q6: Has your body felt any different during grief?
Painful. Sluggish. My sleep is affected. I feel disconnected from my body at times.
Q7: Has grief interfered in any way with your ability and motivation to perform various tasks, including paid work?
I’ve slacked on some work knowing I’m at home. I’ve had to rearrange work due to events of the loss, and the work it caused. Missed some work due to not feeling well enough.
Q8: Is your experience of grief changing over time? If so, how?
It changes but not in a positive or negative way.
Q9: Have you ever found yourself looking for the person who died or expecting that person to appear?
Yes.
Q10: Are there times, places, and occasions that have made you especially aware of the person’s absence?
Holidays. Birthdays.
Q11: People who are grieving often report experiencing the presence of the person who died. Have you had any experiences that you would describe in those terms?
No
Q12: Do you still feel a sense of connection with the person? If so, could you say something about when you feel this and what the experience is like?
No
Q13: Since the person died, is there anything that you have been doing in order to feel close to them?
Looking at photos.
Q14: Is there anything that you do in order to avoid being reminded of the person or of their death?
Not talk to my mom as much. Ignore questions about when I’ll have children.
Q15: Has anything in particular helped you to cope with grief? Has anything made you feel better or worse?
Reading. It’s ok to not be ok. Work by Justine Froelker.
Q16: How understanding have other people been? Have others said or done anything that you've found especially helpful or unhelpful?
They’re nice but not helpful.
Q17: How, if at all, has your experience of bereavement changed you as a person?
I’m more sensitive.
Q18: How, if at all, does grief over the death of a person differ from other forms of loss that you have experienced?
It feels the same in a lot of ways.
Q19: Are there any aspects of grief that you find particularly puzzling or difficult to put into words?
How it’s ignored by the world.
Q20: Are there any important aspects of your experience that we have not addressed?